


Ease My Mind

by 911xtarlos



Series: Harringrove Ficlets [5]
Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: Angst, Billy Feels Like People Use Him, Billy Isn't Sure What He Wants, Boys In Love, Caring Steve, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Insecure Billy, Loving Steve, M/M, Mentions of Smut, Steve Wants To Make Him Feel Better, they care about each other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-13
Updated: 2019-09-13
Packaged: 2020-10-17 20:23:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 966
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20627021
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/911xtarlos/pseuds/911xtarlos
Summary: Billy is afraid of fucking up a good thing with Steve. He's always been looked at like a piece of meat By Karen Wheeler and all the other cougar moms at the pool. Steve doesn't look at him like that, Steve looks at him with eyes of love and that scares the living shit out of him.





	Ease My Mind

Billy Hargrove liked to think he was a confident person. He reveled in attention, almost longed for it in any way he could receive it.

But Steve Harrington took that confidence and threw it out the window. Steve Harrington was everything Billy wanted, and everything he thought he couldn’t have. Steve was good, and Billy wanted more. He didn’t want the flirty glances, suggestive touches and all out sex. He didn’t want the middle aged women at the pool who looked at him like he was their next meal. He wanted Steve, who looked at him like he was special. 

Billy couldn’t handle that, he wasn’t something to be treasured. He was broken, and he had only repaired himself enough to be enjoyed for a short period of time before he inevitably fell apart and was kicked to the curb. It would happen with Steve too, if he showed how much he actually cared, Steve would laugh, tell him that he thought of him the same way Karen Wheeler did. An object, something to get off on and leave when he got bored. 

So until that happened, he would take Steve Harrington however he could get him. He would take sloppy makeout sessions and clumsy, fumbled handjobs in the backseat of Steve’s car when they went to the quarry to smoke. He would take the rough messy sex in Steve’s bed, with the lights off and Steve on his knees so he didn’t have to face what was happening. He was afraid if he looked at Steve it would all come crashing down. Steve would realize he wanted more, and tell him that he couldn’t have it.

*****

“You know, I don’t get you,” Steve says one night as they’re sitting on the hood of his car out by the quarry.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, we’ve been hanging out, doing whatever this is, for a couple of months and I have yet to figure you out. I mean at school and around town, you strut around like a peacock. You thrive on attention, but anytime I try to give you attention you back away like you’re afraid. You fuck me with the lights of, we jerk each other off in the car and you hardly ever kiss me.”

“I uh-”

“I just don’t get it Billy. Is this just a hookup to you? Are you just having fun or whatever? Because that’s fine I guess, but I just need to know because I have a nasty habit of getting way too attached.” 

“I don’t know Steve,” Billy paused to take a drag of the joint that had been dangling from his fingers. “I don’t know what I want because I’m so afraid.”

“Afraid of what?”

“Afraid that I’m going to feel something for you and then I’ll find out that you see me just like everyone else. Like a sex toy or some shit and that what we’re doing right now is all you want from me. That I’m too broken for you to ever care about me and when you find that out, you’re just gonna throw me out like everyone else does.”

“Are you actually an idiot?”

“What?”

“I mean I’m starting to think you’re really that dumb, Billy Hargrove.”

“You lost me Harrington.”

“Do you honestly think that I would even be asking you about this if all I wanted was sex? Billy, I do not see you the way Karen Wheeler does. I’ve watched her look at you, when I’m at the pool with the kids, and it’s disgusting. You’re not a piece of meat, you’re a human. Despite what you may think, you are worthy of love. You deserved to be loved and have someone care about you for more than just sex. I care about you Billy.”

“Steve.”

“Is that all you have to say?”

“I’m sorry.”

“For what?”

“Being a dick. Trying to hide my feelings because I was scared. I care about you too Steve. And I want more than what we have now. But I don’t know what I want past that, and I’m still so afraid that you’re going to find out how broken I really am and you’re not going to want to love me anymore.”

“Billy, nothing could ever make me stop loving you, or caring about you. I was screwed from the day I met you. Completely and utterly screwed, and I want nothing more than to show you that you deserve all the love in the world.”

“Loving me is rotten work Steve Harrington.”   
“Not to me Billy Hargrove. Trust me, I have plenty of love to give.”

Billy sighed, “You’re the only person who has ever made me feel like this. You’re the only person who has ever made me nervous and shy and insecure. It’s weird.”

“What can I do? How do I ease your mind?”

Billy met brown Bambi eyes and whispered, “Kiss me.”

So Steve did. He kissed him, soft and slow, trying to put every bit of love he had for Billy Hargrove into a single kiss. He kissed him, determined to erase every fear Billy had about not being good enough. He kissed him, angry, not at Billy, but at every woman who had ever made Billy feel like less of a person.

Steve pulled away and cupped Billy’s cheeks, resting their foreheads together.

“Thank you.”

“I will kiss you every time you feel insecure,” Steve said.

Billy chuckled and Steve looked at him seriously.

“I’m serious Billy. It’s not like it’s a chore for me.”

Instead of responding, Billy kissed him again.

Billy was a little more secure. He had Steve for now, and he would keep him close for as long as possible. Steve was the only one who could ease his mind. 

**Author's Note:**

> I'm in an angsty mood so have some insecure, angsty Billy. Followed by fluff because Steve is a soft boy who just wants Billy to be happy.
> 
> Make sure to leave comments and kudos if that's something you like to do. I'm also on Tumblr.
> 
> Click [here](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/strxngehxrringrove) to check out my blog.


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